Knitting Myself Back Together: Overcoming Loss, Cancer & Finding Healing Through Yarn
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More Than Just Stitches – Knitting Myself Back Together
Knitting has always been more than just a hobby for me. It has been my therapy, my comfort, and my connection to a greater knitting community. Through every stage of my life—loss, cancer, burnout, and rediscovery—knitting has been the one constant that has helped me heal.
When I took my knitting live on Twitch, I never expected to build a tight-knit (see what I did there?) knitting community of people from around the world. I simply wanted to teach, share, and connect.
But through the years, as I knit through grief and chemotherapy, I realized knitting was more than just a skill—it was a lifeline. And when I needed to step away, I learned that true community and connection never truly unravel.
Now, I’m back—not to perform but to knit for mindfulness, healing, and self-care.
Finding My Knitting Community on Twitch
When I started live-streaming on Twitch, I wasn’t sure how it would work. The platform was known for gaming, not crafts. But I was determined to bring something different:
A knitting community where people could come together, relax, learn, and share their passion for yarn.
At first, I was talking to an empty chat. Just knitting, explaining my process, and hoping someone would pop in. Then, slowly, they did.
👥 First, a few knitters, then dozens, then more than a few times over a hundred joined in.
🎥 Viewers would watch, chat, and knit along with me every day.
🧶 We shared patterns, encouraged each other, and formed genuine friendships.
Knitting in the Spotlight
As my knitting community grew, so did the visibility of knitting on Twitch.
📰 Gizmodo wrote about the gentle side of Twitch, highlighting my knitting, among other non-gaming content.
📰 A Belgian news article featured an image of my hands knitting live on stream.
🎤 Even Twitch’s CEO, Dan Clancy, publicly encouraged more knitting content, saying that livestreaming wasn’t just for gamers—it was for creators of all kinds.
The world was starting to see that knitting wasn’t just a craft—it was a way to build community, foster mindfulness, and connect people.
Knitting Through Chemo: The Hardest Streams of My Life
Then, everything changed.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer and faced months of chemotherapy, surgeries, and exhaustion.
I had two choices:
- Step away from my knitting community and focus on my health.
- Keep knitting and let my community see what going through a diagnosis really looks like.
I chose to keep knitting.
Knitting for Mindfulness During Treatment
Knitting became my anchor. It gave me something to focus on when everything else felt overwhelming.
But streaming while going through chemo was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done:
- I was exhausted, weak, and nauseous every day.
- I lost my hair, I had sores in my mouth and throat, and my nose ran constantly.
- There were days I couldn’t even think straight.
And yet, my knitting community stayed.
💗 They sent me handmade pink ribbons with encouraging notes. (look over my shoulder)
💗 Other Twitch streamers shared my story and promoted breast cancer awareness.
💗 They reminded each other to get their mammograms and care for their health.
Knitting wasn’t just about making things—it was about support, resilience, and healing through knitting.
Knitting Through Grief: When the Stitches Stopped
As if cancer wasn’t enough, I also lost both of my parents over the years I was livestreaming. First my dad in 2016 and my mom in 2019.
One of the hardest moments of my life was captured on stream—me, sitting there with my knitting, trying to hold it together while sharing that my mother had passed.
The stitches continued, but inside, I felt unraveled.
My knitting community stood by me, offering words of comfort, sharing their own stories of grief, and reminding me that I wasn’t alone.
But over time, I couldn’t keep going.
Why I Walked Away from Streaming
Streaming, while rewarding, had become emotionally exhausting.
Knitting is meditative, but live-streaming is performance.
For years, I had carried not just my own struggles but also the stories, worries, and emotions of my viewers.
As an introvert, I felt completely drained.
So, I made the decision to step away.
I stopped streaming.
I stopped posting videos.
I let my knitting community continue without me.
But there was one thing I never stopped doing—knitting.
Knitting Myself Back Together
After stepping away from Twitch, I realized something:
Knitting had been my constant through it all.
Now, I’m returning—not to livestreaming, but to knitting in a way that feels right.
I’m focusing on mindful knitting, self-care, and rebuilding a knitting community where we knit for the joy of it.
Instead of performing, I’m:
✨ Writing about knitting on my blog
✨ Creating tutorials on YouTube
✨ Sharing knitting inspiration on Instagram & Pinterest
✨ Encouraging mindful knitting for mental well-being
Knitting isn’t about numbers, views, or algorithms. It’s about finding peace in the stitches.
Knitting as Meditation: A New Chapter
Now, I’m embracing knitting for what it truly is—a tool for mindfulness, self-care, and healing.
🧘♀️ Knitting for mindfulness – Being present with every stitch.
💜 Healing through knitting – Using stitches to process emotions.
💆♀️ Knitting through grief – Letting the rhythm of knitting soothe the heart.
Instead of knitting for an audience, I’m knitting for me.
What’s Next?
I may not be on Twitch anymore, but I’m still here—teaching, sharing, and building a new kind of knitting community.
🧶 Still Teaching how to Fix Knitting Problems
🧶 Beginner Knitters Start Here
And most of all—knitting without pressure.
If you’ve ever found comfort in knitting, if you’ve ever used it to calm your mind or heal your heart, I’d love for you to be part of this next chapter with me.
Final Thoughts
Knitting has carried me through chemo, grief, burnout, and back again.
If this is your first time on the blog, make sure you read part 1 of My Knitting Journey: From Hobby to Community to Business
Now, I’m knitting not to entertain but to heal—and I hope you’ll join me in this next chapter.
Thanks for being here. Let’s keep knitting. 🧶✨
